Posts

62

Today the Ageing Rockstar attains the grand old age of 62.  Having ascertained that i would not be buying him a guitar, or anything too guitar-like, he was persuaded to widen his aspirations on the birthday present front.

“I might quite like one of those kindles,” he said, “then i could play games on it like i did on my old tablet thingy.”

The old tablet thingy was indeed old.  It was almost as old as the Ageing Rockstar.  As well as being a dab hand with a guitar, the Ageing Rockstar is also a dab hand with a spanner. In a past life he earned a crust through spannering cars.  At this point i will need to leave you, dear reader, in order to check with mr google whether there is another meaning for the word ‘spannering’.  [sound of footsteps disappearing]

[sound of footsteps reappearing] It would appear that spannering is a safe word, but spannered can mean out of one’s head on drugs.  So just to be clear the Ageing Rockstar was often spannering but never spannered.  Newer readers may …

rays

i seem to have purchased a microwave.  this will be a cause for mirth among my friends.  i have been a luddite on the question of microwaves since they were invented.  for years i have been crying "be careful!  they give off rays!" but no-one paid the slightest heed.  as far as the earlier incarnations of the microwave were concerned i had a point - it was discovered after some years of the population being told they were safe that they had in fact been giving off rays.  but the current generation of microwaves is safe, or so we are told.

be that as it may, i was browsing the Asda website the other day looking for shower curtains.  i found some for £2 each and promptly ordered them.  Asda then informed me that if i spent over £30 i qualified for free delivery.  i quickly ran through potential purchases to make up the difference and came up with a microwave.  i am not sure why - it had some connection to my new healthy diet and having porridge for breakfast and being able to m…

entropy

The Ageing Rockstar and i have had a busy week. On Sunday we went to the Blues Jam.This may sound like something you get in a jar but in fact is a bunch of ageing rockstars and other musicians getting together to sing and strum and bash drums. It is great fun and gives me the opportunity to film the Ageing Rockstar in action.
Then on Wednesday we were off to Uxbridge, which is somewhere almost north of Watford as far as i can work out, where we met with some friends of the Ageing Rockstar who he has known since he was a Fledgling Rockstar.  Between strumming there was a lot of reminiscing about Gigs We Have Been To, and talk of fellow Ageing Rockstars, punctuated by exclamations of "blimey, is he still alive?!!" 
Then on Saturday we were off again, this time to Sunbury on Thames.   The Ageing Rockstar did his stuff and between strumming found time for a chat with the Teetering on the Brink of Middle Age bass player about a new purchase the TBMA bass player had made.It seems th…

logz

today our good friend richard is going to deliver some logs. this is something we have been looking forward to now that the evenings are getting a bit chillier. we have even managed to have the chimney swept in advance of lighting the fire, which shows remarkable forward planning. in the past i have scrounged free logs from richard in the form of offcuts and scrap wood but this year we are rather more financially stable so we have had a load of logs delivered like proper grown-ups.

sitting in bed this morning i mentioned the log delivery to the Ageing Rockstar.

"where will they go? what time is he coming? will we have to stack them?" he was clearly worried that his input might be required. luckily i had the forethought to have a son some years ago who has now matured into a tall, strapping specimen who is very useful when heavy lifting is involved.

"don't you worry your pretty little head about it," i reassured him, "you just stay indoors and play guitars.&qu…

porridge

the Ageing Rockstar and i are in the habit of loafing around in bed for a while before rising in the morning. this is a habit which is brought on by oldness, although it is common in teenagers as well. we have a cup of tea and put the world to rights. more accurately we have a cup of tea and i put the world to rights, reading choice morsels about Trump's latest debacle from the online Guardian to the Ageing Rockstar, who does his best to ignore them, while focusing on guitars or electronic gadgetry on eBay. 

due to my new health regime, i now have a bowl of porridge for breakfast. this can be a rather unwieldy thing to eat in bed, especially if one's bedmate is prone to pulling the duvet up round his chin and moaning about the cold. if the porridge bowl is resting on the duvet when this happens the results can be calamitous. fortunately my reactions are like lightening, and to date i have managed to avoid porridging the Ageing Rockstar. i did have cause to remonstrate with him …

reflections

our friend bertie-sue has recently moved house. she is known as bertie-sue to differentiate her from all the other sues in our lives. bertie is her little dog, who resembles a manic powderpuff but has the courage of a lion. he persists in trying to give alfie his babies, even though both of them have had their wedding tackle removed and the fact that he has to wait for alfie to lie down to make the attempt because of their disparity of size.

because bertie-sue has been de-cluttering there have been a few additions to our house. one was a large mirror which i have hung in the bedroom. this seemed like a good idea at the time. however, once i stood in front of it in a state of undress i realised my folly.

"this mirror makes me look huge!" i shrieked. the Ageing Rockstar looked up from his laptop. i waited a little while for him to say that the mirror had a dishonest streak, but there was silence.

"i don't look as fat in the mirror downstairs! do you think this mirror is …

humbuckers

The Ageing Rockstar and I are sitting in bed, reading about vital matters on our respective laptops. As i am sure many of you find, the screen of the person next to you is infinitely more interesting than the one in front of you. rather like the old days when travelling on the tube the person next to you has a more interesting newspaper, even though it is one that your political sensibilities would prevent you from buying. 

The Ageing Rockstar is looking at a map. My lust for travel is ignited and i crane my neck to see where he might be thinking of whisking me away to.

“Leominster.” 

“Leominster?” I cry, “what’s in Leominster?”

Let me give you a clue, dear reader. It begins with G. And has strings.

But this is no ordinary guitar. It is a peculiar leaning over guitar. 

“You can’t buy that!” I shriek, “its all wonky!”

“They are supposed to be like that,” the Ageing Rockstar reassures me.

“But it won’t hang on the wall properly with all the normal un-wonky guitars. And everyone will lean over w…